Author Archive


“…So The VILE APPETITES of Mankind Could No Longer Corrupt The Harmony of My PERFECT BODY!” COMICS! Sometimes These Tales of Hoffman Deliver On The Fantastique But Honesty Compels Me To Admit They Are Sorely Lacking In The Opera Department!

John Kane

Hey, I wrote about a comic and now it’s like it never existed. Maybe I just dreamt it all. That’d be spookily appropriate. Unlikely though. Anyway, this…

“Extremely Unlikely, And Definitely Improbably, But Not IMPOSSIBLE” COMICS! Sometimes It’s A Whole New World. We Just Need Some Magic Carpets And We’re Set To Go!

John Kane

Hello. I read a comic, did a little dance. Felt it needed more work as a critical medium and fell back on words. Sometimes the Old Ways are best. Anyway, this…

“There’s Nothing WRONG WITH YOU That I Can’t Fix..WITH MY TENTACLES!” COMICS! Sometimes Comics Are Like The Sponge And Must Go Porous!

John Kane

In which I unwisely blurt out some words about a Spongebob comic. If yesterday’s ridiculous farrago is any indication it will in fact really be about Tarot’s chest and largely entail me shouting like a crazy person about people misusing the land in front of my house. Or maybe I got my boat to float this time out. Altogether now, Kids..! By Chabot, Kochalka, HiFi & Comicraft Anyway this…

“HER AG-GRES-SIVE-NESS DOES NOT/COM-PRO-MISE HER FEM-I-NIN-ITY” COMICS! Sometimes Everyone Was Robot Fighting (Those Kicks Were Fast As Lightning)!

John Kane

America! How’s that 4th of July Weekend thing going for you? Man, Canada just touches itself for one day but you lot take a whole weekend! Always fireworks on the4th of July as Max Cady said. Hope you all had a truly lovely time even though you are basically breaking our balls over here. No hard feelings! Here’s some words about comics. Hey, Magnus, can you guess which I liked best? Nope. Anyway, this…

“Make A NECKTIE With His TONGUE!” COMICS! Sometimes You Can’t Put Lipstick On A Bat!

John Kane

Well what with all the IT hilarity I don’t know whether this will be here tomorrow but let’s live for today and look at some Batman comics. That’s what they mean, right, when they say live each day like there’s no tomorrow, right? They mean read some Batman comics. I mean if people seriously lived life for the moment then there’d be no societal infrastructure and stuff would just never get done; you know what folk are like they would be be looting, murdering and rutting like dogs in the street. It’d be like a prison riot but the whole world would be the prison. Now I think about it, Live each day like there’s no tomorrow is some pretty…  Read More…

“I Ran ‘em!” COMICS! Sometimes Even The Flash looks Like An Aimless Dawdler In Comparison!

John Kane

The comics I’m on about this week were not only originally published before you were born they were originally published before I was born; well, just. Tasty! They feature a man who can run really fast but instead of fighting crime and talking killer gorillas he instead wins races in bleak Northern towns purely for his own satisfaction. Somewhere in that comparison I think there lurks the crux of the difference between the American and English characters. Best not to dwell on it, eh? Anyway, this…

“And If There’s No News…I’ll Go Out And Bite A Dog!” MOVIES! Sometimes You Can All Komodo My Place And We’ll Watch Some Stuff!

John Kane

Okay, there’s nothing happening in my head comics wise at the moment. But I wanted to chuck some content up so here’s some stuff about movies. The earliest one here was made in 1947 and the latest one was broadcast a week ago so something for everyone? Highly unlikely. Anyway, this…

“Sometimes I Ride A Horse Too.” COMICS! Sometimes I’m not Bored, I’m Actually Quite Entertained. But Thanks for Asking, Klytus!

John Kane

Oh hey, I wrote about some comics. Wonders never cease do they? By Laming, Parker, Boyd & Bowland Anyway, this…

“The Weaving of Ornate Tapestries Glorifying Our Ancestors and Their Bygone Way of Life.” COMICS! Sometimes I Treat You Like My Local Library And Continue To Patronise You!

John Kane

This week I visited my library and took out and read a recent-ish TPB of some quite old Conan comics, 1982 or thereabouts. Then I tried to put my thoughts about ‘em into what them there clever folks call words. I think it worked out about as well as that usually does for me. Probably a lot less well for you. One thing I did discover was that the Hyborian equivalent of Occam’s Razor was Conan’s Rock: Anyway, this…

“Nah, Son. This Is On ALL of Us.” COMICS! Sometimes If This Superhero Thing Doesn’t Work Out They Could Always Moonlight As A White Goods Delivery Firm!

John Kane

Due to popular demand what follows is about a new(ish) series and it’s also mercifully brief! Who says we here at The Savage Critics don’t listen? Well, they’re right. But we thought you’d find the illusion comforting. Anyway, this…

“Muh Version of Whut Happened May Not Be Spicy Enough Fer Yore Little Boy’s Tastes…” COMICS! Sometimes Even A Surly Jackass Weeps For The World!

John Kane

Man, I just about read the ink right offa these pages when I was just a young ‘un. And I just read ‘em agin right now. If you’re of a mind to, sit back and whittle awhile and I’ll flap my yapper concernin’ ‘em. Anyway, this…

“I Wonder If Tom And Larry Would Be So Eager To Marry Me If My…Feet…Were…Gone!” COMICS! Sometimes They Got Moxie, You Betcha!

John Kane

As an ancient ladies’ fragrance ad had it, “Men Can’t Help Acting On Impulse”; which is why we have prisons. And, slightly more pertinently, why I bought this book of ye olde newspaper continuities. Repeat offenders will recall that recently I looked at a Hermes Press collection of Frank Robbins’ Johnny Hazard newspaper strips. Hopefully such folk will fail to recall that I was somewhat out of my depth and basically just said “Frank Robbins draws real nice!” in a number of different ways without even a hint of insight. In the uncharacteristically optimistic belief that I could hardly do any worse I thought I’d look at yet more old newspaper strips. This time out they are both about and…  Read More…

“That Was MY Bikini. That Drug Was Meant For ME!” COMICS! Sometimes You Can Go West But Life Is Not So Peaceful There!

John Kane

Yes! She’s back the lassie with the classy chassis; the gal whose gams are deadlier than a gat! Put your hands together for miss Honeeeey Weeeeest!…Honey West. You know…Honey West. Looking at me like I’m just making farting noises with my mouth isn’t helping. Okay, let me hit the streets, break some heads and see if I can get the real skinny on this crazy dame… Anyway this…

“…Is This A Giant Sponge I See before Me?” COMICS! Sometimes There’s Plenty of Effing And Jeffing In Them!

John Kane

So I read a comic featuring a 1980′s Brit Comics Icon who is still going strong in the 21st Century. Oh yeah, and Tank Girl’s in it. Ho de ho de ho! Sigh. Anyway, this…

“Always Prepared. Always Ready.” BOOKS! Sometimes You Get What You’re Given And Just Make Do

John Kane

Okay, let’s stop pointing fingers, dry our eyes and just accept it’s a BONUS SKIP WEEK! (Bonus Booo!). Caught me on the hop a bit, I’ll admit. Unfortunately I haven’t anything in my head about comics but there are a couple of books I’ve been thinking about. Why not, eh? You never know your luck in a raffle. So, it’ll be a bit rough and ready this time out (yeah; no change there then) but I’ll probably find my flow after a couple of dozen words. Anyway, this…

“Working Together In The Name Of The Common Good…” COMICS! Sometimes Creators Don’t Get To Pick Their Fans! (Ever, Actually. Now I think About It.)

John Kane

It’s a Skip Week! (Booo!) So let’s see what falls out of my head (Yay!). Checking the Savage Critic’s mail bag I see several of you may have contacted me expressing intense distress that I have yet to tell you how 2013 panned out for Howard Victor Chaykin.  It was definitely several or none. It’s so hard to remember these things. So, hedging my bets I’ll tell you anyway…

“At Least A Soldier’s Enemies Are FLESH & BLOOD!”COMICS! Sometimes War Is Even Worse Than Hell!

John Kane

This time out it’s a tale of Vampires in World War Two. COMICS! The gift that never stops giving! Anyway, this…

“Thor Has His Doubts About This One..” COMICS! Sometimes It’s Gruff In The Age of Mjolinir!

John Kane

Here’s some words about a comic with Thor in. Do with them what thou wilt. Anyway, this…

“G’wan And STARE At Me. I KNOW I’m Not Pretty!” COMICS! Sometimes They’re So Fine They Blow My Mind! (Hey, Mickey!)

John Kane

In which I carved out a bit of free time at the weekend and chose to spend it with you worshipping at the altar of Mike McMahon. Just like any sane person would. Anyway, this…

“As You Love Me.” COMICS! Sometimes It’s London Calling!

John Kane

Let’s start off 2014 with a panel that fair throbs with magnificence: That there being Dog vs. Moose by Alex Nino from Alex Nino & Neil Kleid’s adaptation of Jack London’s The Call of The Wild. Kids, use your nascent psychic powers to guess what I’m on about this time! Anyway, this…

“If This Was Dinner…I Can’t Wait For The Cabaret!” MOVIES! Sometimes…The Year Must Die!

John Kane

So, I didn’t get near any comics this Holiday but I am always writing nevertheless. In my head mostly. So, although I haven’t got anything about comics I have got a head full of dumb words about some Peter Cushing films I watched this year. Usually I just dump this head written stuff into the ether but I felt like posting something and this was all I had. So I dumped it on you. Attractive, non? Anway; an old man, some old movies and a spatter of tired old jokes. What better way to see the New Year in. Have a drink, it’ll read better that way. Everything’s better when you’re insensate with drink. That’s what it’s for. Oh yeah,…  Read More…

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