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“…There Will Never Be a TRIumphteenth Time.” COMICS! Sometimes Comics Might Not Be For Kids Anymore But The People Who Make ‘Em Could Sure Do With Acting A Bit More Like Adults, Maybe?.

John Kane

I sure hope everyone loves my unwieldy and turgid exercises in overkill, because here’s another one coming up right about now. But, hey, Batman’s in it. I know I said comics (plural) last time but this got out of hand so I’ve split the other bit for later, plus I couldn’t quite get that part to work. It’ll turn up though; nothing gets wasted. And now it’s over to…Batman! DARK KNIGHT: THE LAST CRUSADE by Romita Jnr, Steigerwald, Azzarello, Miller and Robins Anyway, this…

“My WHOLE BODY experiences Disasters And It’s—I’m WORRIED About It Getting To Me.” COMICS! Sometimes I Should Just Shake My Head And Leave The Room.

John Kane

So…The biggest names in comics! The biggest comics in comics! Several thousand words which can be summed up as, “Seriously? You jest, right? THIS?” Break out the bunting because the world’s sourest man is back! Nothing is good enough for him! He’s a big old stinker and no mistake! Comics by beloved creators spat at by a man with not a fraction of their talent! Oh, it’s good to be back. (We are back, right?) The following is dedicated to OKOliver who left OKComics without me having the chance to say goodbye. Good luck in your new life as a space gigolo! M-Wah! M-Wah! CASANOVA: NO JACKET REQUIRED #1 by Moon, Fraction, Harbin & Peter Anyway, this…

“…Even LIMP, That Bat’s Too Much For ME.” COMICS! Sometimes It’s The Cat Which is The Unnameable.

John Kane

This time out: a lady werewolf, the slightly lighter side of Lovecraft and a drunk cuckold finds the vengeance trail’s gone cold. Midnight of the Soul by Chaykin, Arbutov & Bruzenak What’s not to love about that, am I right or am I right? Anyway, this…

“I Miss Having Tits.” COMICS! Sometimes I Have An Emotion.

John Kane

It’s very hot today. Oh, and I see the world continues to misbehave. Sigh. Only two comics this time out. They’re pretty good though. Well I thought so, at least. The Experts by Sophie Franz Anyway, this…

“COURAGE! He Is But A MOLLUSCOID MOUNTEBANK!” COMICS! Sometimes We’re Making Whoopee!

John Kane

A samurai, a shadow and a sponge. It’s either a further trudge through my pull list or the best pop band ever. Let’s see! The Shadow: The Death of Margo Lane by Wagner, Wagner & A Larger World Studios Anyway, this…

“I Myself Played A Zobo Kazoo.” COMICS! Sometimes Comedy Lurks In The Unlikeliest of Places!

John Kane

Yeah, uh,  sorry. Didn’t mean to be gone quite so long. Got distracted by the real world. Big Mistake. What an awful place the real world is. Simply dreadful. So, yeah, not a good year thus far for any of us, huh? Hey, I know what we need, some sweet, sweet COMICS!!! (DISCLAIMER: Contains words of praise for Alan Moore.) Midnight of the Soul by Chaykin, Arbutov & Bruzenak Anyway, this…

“I Thought It Would Be FUN.” COMICS! Sometimes They Take The Proverbial!

John Kane

It’s Bwana Hibbs’ Birthday! Happy Birthday, Brian Hibbs! Emotion! Ugh. Enough sentimental nonsense and  back to things of far greater import: is DKIII: TMR improving? Find out below! DKIII: TMR by Kubert, Janson, Azzarello, Miller, Anderson & Robins Anyway this…

“Bedlam In Bug’s Back Yard!” Sometimes The Visual Tribute To Battlin’ Bill Mantlo Has A Second Part!

John Kane

Yes! The post no one demanded! All the visual ephemera I could find within my battered back-issues of Battlin’ Bill Mantlo and Michael “is” Golden’s fizzy kid’s comic confection THE MICRONAUTS. I may have missed one or two, but even so here is art from Michael Golden, Steve Ditko, Gil Kane, Butch Guice etc.. which may very well be shortly lost to time. Not on this old fool’s watch! Feast your eyes! BONUS: Is MICRONAUTS #39 the “Rosebud” to Citizen Hibbs? Wilder things have happened, pilgrim! Have a happy Bank Holiday, from your pugnacious pal Jabberin’ John K of the UK! EXCELSIOR! MICRONAUTS#39 by Steve Ditko, Danny Bulandi, Bill Mantlo, Jim Novak & Bob Sharen Anyway, this…

“Take Him To The BODY BANKS!” COMICS! Sometimes It’s The Little Things…

John Kane

Um, here’s a gallery of comic book covers from a series that Marvel published from 1979 – 1984 as a tie-in to a terrible line of toys. It was also, as of issue 38, part of Marvel’s first tender dalliances with Direct Market only comics (see also MOON KNIGHT and KA-ZAR). The unfortunate Bill Mantlo scripted the series solidly (as was his wont) for its duration, but the real attraction was the cavalcade of artistic talent who put food on their table drawing this stuff. Michael Golden! Gil Kane! Steve Ditko! (Howard Victor Chaykin even did some innards but, alas, no covers). Because of legal what have you, and the fact it was so heavily intertwined with the Marvel Universe…  Read More…

“And I Did What I Do.” COMICS! Sometimes Petey’s Right Off His Wheaties! 

John Kane

So, Marvel Universe Versus The Punisher? Pretty self-explanatory I’d have thought. (Abhay’s below this one. Go read that!) MARVEL UNIVERSE VS THE PUNISHER by Parlov, Maberry, Loughridge & Petit Anway, this…

“The Matter of Britain Has A Desperate, Clawed Gravity.” COMICS! Sometimes I Suspect History Isn’t Finished With Us Yet.

John Kane

In which I go up against Warren Ellis’ current series and…the usual snark is not deployed! Find out why after the “More…” INJECTION by Shalvey, Ellis, Bellaire & Fonografiks Anyway, this…

“Passive Smoking On The Last Train Home.” COMICS! Sometimes It’s All About Family, Innit?

John Kane

Sunday, and I’ve been caught a mite short. So I’ll just blast through this and see how we do. It’s an old Vertigo/DC Comic you might want to look out for in the dollar bins. And I’ll tell you for why after the “More…” MOBFIRE by Pleece, Ushaw & Gaspar Anyway, this…

“This Fixation With Twentieth-Century Super-Heroes Has Got To STOP!” COMICS! Sometimes Everything Is In Fact Awesome When You Are Part of A Team!

John Kane

In order to belay any simmering suspicions that I loathe and resent super-hero comics I look at a comic filled to the brim with them. A whole mess o’ super-heroes, a veritable Legion in fact! SUPERBOY’S LEGION by Davis, Farmer, Horie, Horie & Prentice Anyway, this…

“Later, Jeef Cooked The Best Northern Italian-Style Dinner Ever.” COMICS! Sometimes it’s Goodbye, Mr Chitts!

John Kane

To celebrate the release of Batman vs Superman: Collateral Damage and also the appearance of The Punisher on Daredevil I look up at the corner of my living room and wonder if that’s dust or a cobweb. Deciding it’s just a shadow, I galvanize myself and consider a book by Gilbert Hernandez about a woman who kills zombies in the future. ‘Cos I’m dead classy, pal. FATIMA: THE BLOOD SPINNERS by Gilbert Hernandez Anyway, this…

“I Can’t DO This Anymore.” COMICS! Sometimes I Wish I Had A Hammer Too.

John Kane

In which I look at a Batman comic so lacking in self-awareness it unknowingly reviews itself: DKIII:TMR by Kubert, Janson, Miller, Azzarello, Anderson & Robins But I still went on about it nevertheless. Anyway, this…

“…Spring-Heeled Jack, The Duke of Clarence, Walter Sickert, Arthur Askey…” COMICS! Sometimes It’s The Full English.

John Kane

In which I sulkily refuse to acknowledge my recent absence (ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies) and just go straight into talking about a comic about an old man who fills his days by chuntering incessantly about nonsense to a disinterested and increasingly uncomfortable audience in the low single digits. I can’t imagine what attracted me to it. ALBY FIGGS by Warren Pleece Anyway this…

“Would You Like A Waffle With Chestnut Butter?” COMICS! Sometimes It’s Safer In The Asylum.

John Kane

Bonjour mesdames et messieurs! Une tasse de thé sans lait, veuillez. Beaucoup merde! Or for those who lack the class I has, and thus do not speak the language of The French: This week John read a graphic novel by Jacques Tardi, who is not Jacques Tati but who is French. Luckily someone had the foresight to translate the book into The Beautiful Tongue or else this would have been a bit of a nonstarter.  You know, what with John being an enormous monolingual xenophobe and all.  RUN LIKE CRAZY RUN LIKE HELL (Tardi, Manchette) Anyway this…

“I Fail To See What’s So Remarkable About Two Robots Dancing.” COMICS! Sometimes I’ll Need To See Some ID Before You Go Any Further, Sunshine.

John Kane

This time out I look at 2000AD yet again, but you can tell I’m getting a bit worn down. Not because you’re perceptive, but because I flat out say so. Then in an attempt to pep things up a bit I take a look at  a one man anthology by the one man affront to all that’s rational! Men want to be him, women want to be with him, and the FBI just plain want him! It’s that loveable scamp, the part-time Cher impersonator and full-time living colossus of Comics, Mr. Gilbert “Betty” Hernandez. And this wretched creature on the end of my critical stick is BLUBBER #2.  (Strictly no kids past the MORE…) BLUBBER by Gilbert Hernandez Anyway, this…

“Oh, Betty!” COMICS! Sometimes It’s Doctor Who And The Pub Made of Haunted Wood!

John Kane

Just for a change I thought I’d look at an Original Graphic Novel rather than a British anthology comic featuring a poo eating robot that talks more sense than most public figures. Naturally, I loaded the dice by picking one by one of my favourite writers working with an artist whose work I have much fondness for. And Michael Easton. Guess how well that worked out for everyone. THE GREEN WOMAN (Bolton, Straub & Easton, Klein) Anyway, this…

“Let’s All Send Him Our Love.” COMICS! Sometimes I Suspect My Chakras Are Stunted.

John Kane

Anthologies don’t sell! Yet people keep publishing them and I keep buying them. Here are some words about three anthologies I read this week. ABC WARRIORS (Langley, Mills & Parkhouse) Anyway, this…

“He Thought He Could Forget The Past. He was Wrong.” COMICS! Sometimes I Find A whole New Way To Bore You!

John Kane

Of late I’ve been a regular Chatty Cathy and no mistake, so as a change of pace I’ve scanned in some House Ads which ran in DC Comics from (and it’s totally arbitrary this) March 1989 to August 1990. I always enjoy looking at these things when I dig out my back issues; they remind me of stuff I have tucked away (and even sometimes forgotten), or nudge me about stuff I mean to pick up at some point before…I come to my senses and start acting my age. Sometimes they just make me shake my head and wonder how that turned out for everyone. Heck, it’s just fun looking at them, basically, and I hope you share my fascination……  Read More…

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