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“What Happened To Shame?” TELEVISION! Sometimes I Just Veg Out In front Of The Tube!

John Kane

So I was going to write about some comics but I just wasn’t feeling it. Being a big Elvis fan I am all too aware that you should never force it, so I wrote about some television instead. I hear people like television. Yes! It’s True Detective Turks and Caicos! Or TUKs UNnn CAY-kos as The Walken might say. Picture: BBC TWO Anyway, this…

“My Annoyed Bomber Doesn’t Swear.” COMICS! Sometimes It Could Be A Very Brief Encounter Indeed!

John Kane

This week I read a comic about two people on a train station platform discussing a piece of left luggage and then I wrote about it.Anyway, this…

“When Can Ah Git Out Of Here?” COMICS! Sometimes They Just Sit And Stare Up At You Like Fish On A Slab.

John Kane

I hope everyone got their Stray Bullets this week. I’m all about the Stray Bullets. If you didn’t get your Stray Bullets you might want to do that small thing. I ordered all three flavours that’s how much I like my Stray Bullets. When I think about Stray Bullets coming back into my life I feel like Carl Orff’s O Fortuna is being piped straight into my face. Sadly, what follows isn’t about Stray Bullets. Because I didn’t get my Stray Bullets yet and, also, I didn’t get much time, but here are two comics and some words about them. They are largely negative words because I didn’t like them too much. Apparently that’s my fault now? Anyway, this…

“Nah, Son. This Is On ALL of Us.” COMICS! Sometimes If This Superhero Thing Doesn’t Work Out They Could Always Moonlight As A White Goods Delivery Firm!

John Kane

Due to popular demand what follows is about a new(ish) series and it’s also mercifully brief! Who says we here at The Savage Critics don’t listen? Well, they’re right. But we thought you’d find the illusion comforting. Anyway, this…

“Muh Version of Whut Happened May Not Be Spicy Enough Fer Yore Little Boy’s Tastes…” COMICS! Sometimes Even A Surly Jackass Weeps For The World!

John Kane

Man, I just about read the ink right offa these pages when I was just a young ‘un. And I just read ‘em agin right now. If you’re of a mind to, sit back and whittle awhile and I’ll flap my yapper concernin’ ‘em. Anyway, this…

ABHAY: These Aren’t That Good But Here’s Another Attempt at Capsule Reviews

Abhay Khosla

Eh, don’t feel like I did a great job on these, but here’s an attempt at some capsule reviews for THE WHITE SUITS #1, DEADLY CLASS #1-2, more just chit-chat than a review of SATELLITE SAM #6 which I didn’t care enough about to mention any of the actual details of (I think I really ate it on that one), FANTASTIC FOUR #1, and FOREVER EVIL: ARKHAM WAR #1 to 5.  There’s better stuff on the internet, right now, these are just bleh, but if you’re bored…

“I Wonder If Tom And Larry Would Be So Eager To Marry Me If My…Feet…Were…Gone!” COMICS! Sometimes They Got Moxie, You Betcha!

John Kane

As an ancient ladies’ fragrance ad had it, “Men Can’t Help Acting On Impulse”; which is why we have prisons. And, slightly more pertinently, why I bought this book of ye olde newspaper continuities. Repeat offenders will recall that recently I looked at a Hermes Press collection of Frank Robbins’ Johnny Hazard newspaper strips. Hopefully such folk will fail to recall that I was somewhat out of my depth and basically just said “Frank Robbins draws real nice!” in a number of different ways without even a hint of insight. In the uncharacteristically optimistic belief that I could hardly do any worse I thought I’d look at yet more old newspaper strips. This time out they are both about and…  Read More…

“That Was MY Bikini. That Drug Was Meant For ME!” COMICS! Sometimes You Can Go West But Life Is Not So Peaceful There!

John Kane

Yes! She’s back the lassie with the classy chassis; the gal whose gams are deadlier than a gat! Put your hands together for miss Honeeeey Weeeeest!…Honey West. You know…Honey West. Looking at me like I’m just making farting noises with my mouth isn’t helping. Okay, let me hit the streets, break some heads and see if I can get the real skinny on this crazy dame… Anyway this…

“…Is This A Giant Sponge I See before Me?” COMICS! Sometimes There’s Plenty of Effing And Jeffing In Them!

John Kane

So I read a comic featuring a 1980′s Brit Comics Icon who is still going strong in the 21st Century. Oh yeah, and Tank Girl’s in it. Ho de ho de ho! Sigh. Anyway, this…

“Always Prepared. Always Ready.” BOOKS! Sometimes You Get What You’re Given And Just Make Do

John Kane

Okay, let’s stop pointing fingers, dry our eyes and just accept it’s a BONUS SKIP WEEK! (Bonus Booo!). Caught me on the hop a bit, I’ll admit. Unfortunately I haven’t anything in my head about comics but there are a couple of books I’ve been thinking about. Why not, eh? You never know your luck in a raffle. So, it’ll be a bit rough and ready this time out (yeah; no change there then) but I’ll probably find my flow after a couple of dozen words. Anyway, this…

“Working Together In The Name Of The Common Good…” COMICS! Sometimes Creators Don’t Get To Pick Their Fans! (Ever, Actually. Now I think About It.)

John Kane

It’s a Skip Week! (Booo!) So let’s see what falls out of my head (Yay!). Checking the Savage Critic’s mail bag I see several of you may have contacted me expressing intense distress that I have yet to tell you how 2013 panned out for Howard Victor Chaykin.  It was definitely several or none. It’s so hard to remember these things. So, hedging my bets I’ll tell you anyway…

“At Least A Soldier’s Enemies Are FLESH & BLOOD!”COMICS! Sometimes War Is Even Worse Than Hell!

John Kane

This time out it’s a tale of Vampires in World War Two. COMICS! The gift that never stops giving! Anyway, this…

“Thor Has His Doubts About This One..” COMICS! Sometimes It’s Gruff In The Age of Mjolinir!

John Kane

Here’s some words about a comic with Thor in. Do with them what thou wilt. Anyway, this…

Two-Sentence(-ish) Reviews by Abhay (Who has That Cold That’s Going Around)

Abhay Khosla

VELVET #2. I thought the first issue was incredibly generic, but I was a minority opinion enough there that I tried the second and third issues anyways. Boy, sometimes I am incredibly NOT wrong!   VELVET #3. Still, it’s a spy comic, so it’s in my wheelhouse– I could see myself inertia-getting more of these, even if it’s not very interesting or entertaining yet, just boy-howdy generic. While I’m not sold at all on Steve Epting (I’m not really into the whole Alex Raymond school of comics), Elizabeth Bretweiser always makes whoever she’s working with look good, better than they are– she’s been critical on any comic I’ve ever seen her on, at least. SEX CRIMINALS #4. They ran out of things that…  Read More…

“G’wan And STARE At Me. I KNOW I’m Not Pretty!” COMICS! Sometimes They’re So Fine They Blow My Mind! (Hey, Mickey!)

John Kane

In which I carved out a bit of free time at the weekend and chose to spend it with you worshipping at the altar of Mike McMahon. Just like any sane person would. Anyway, this…

“As You Love Me.” COMICS! Sometimes It’s London Calling!

John Kane

Let’s start off 2014 with a panel that fair throbs with magnificence: That there being Dog vs. Moose by Alex Nino from Alex Nino & Neil Kleid’s adaptation of Jack London’s The Call of The Wild. Kids, use your nascent psychic powers to guess what I’m on about this time! Anyway, this…

“If This Was Dinner…I Can’t Wait For The Cabaret!” MOVIES! Sometimes…The Year Must Die!

John Kane

So, I didn’t get near any comics this Holiday but I am always writing nevertheless. In my head mostly. So, although I haven’t got anything about comics I have got a head full of dumb words about some Peter Cushing films I watched this year. Usually I just dump this head written stuff into the ether but I felt like posting something and this was all I had. So I dumped it on you. Attractive, non? Anway; an old man, some old movies and a spatter of tired old jokes. What better way to see the New Year in. Have a drink, it’ll read better that way. Everything’s better when you’re insensate with drink. That’s what it’s for. Oh yeah,…  Read More…

Abhay: 2013– Another Year that I Mindlessly Consumed Entertainment

Abhay Khosla

Here are some Year-end Best-Of Lists– no one else was writing those, so I thought I would be the only person to do that.

“Why Did You Turn Us From Pets Into Slaves?” COMICS! Sometimes It Is Christmas On The Planet of The Apes (Part 4)

John Kane

Believe you me when I say I share your relief as we thunder into the fourth and final part of what people as far away as the chair next to me are calling a Planet of The Apes Weekly gallery! Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho! Anyway, this…

“Because I Loathe Bananas!” COMICS! Sometimes It Is Christmas On The Planet of The Apes (Part 3)

John Kane

“Beware the beast Man, for he is the Content’s pawn. Alone among God’s primates, he scans for the attention of strangers during Internet lulls. Yea, he will politely ask his work-mate to borrow his work-mate’s Planet of The Apes Weekly collection. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will spend most of his time washing, cleaning and generally running about to little result before finally sitting and staring dully into the far distance. Shun him; drive him back into his new-build lair, for he is the harbinger of death.” Thus spaketh The Lawgiver. And so Part Three of the Planet of The Apes Weekly cover gallery begins: Anyway, this…

“What The Hell Would I Have To Say To A Gorilla?!?” COMICS! Sometimes It Is Christmas On The Planet of The Apes (Part 2)

John Kane

Well, Christmas The Holidays are almost upon us! Now, if you do knock back the old grape juice plus please refrain from driving. This isn’t the Nineteen Seventies, you know! Although you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise as we plummet into the second part of our gallery of Planet of The Apes Weekly (very old but VERY GOOD!) covers. It ain’t Nostalgia, it’s History. (Okay, it’s nostalgia). BONUS**BONUS***: Fool your friends! Baffle your enemies! Be hunted by the Government and shot in a ship yard with our Amazing Like-Life Ape Mask! (Never use scissors unless supervised by an adult.) Anyway, this…

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