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KILLOGY #1 — Clipping Jamooks

Abhay Khosla

ALAN ROBERT’S KILLOGY: GUILTY PARTIES #1 Cover C (possibly KILL-SKULL-SYMBOL-GY) by Alan Roberts and Denton J. Tipton, based on the likenesses of Frank Vincent, Brea Grant, and Marky Ramone, published by IDW Publishing in October 2012:

I would just like to describe this comic to you.  That’s all.

Marky Ramone is one of the three “stars” of KILLOGY #1, a recent comic published by IDW Publishing which utilizes his likeness. Ramone was the drummer for The Ramones. According to his bio in the comic, “in 2009 he launched his first worldwide clothing line with Tommy Hilfiger. In 2010, Marky shared his recipe for pasta sauce by introducing ‘Marky Ramone’s Brooklyn’s Own Pasta Sauce.”  

Ramone’s co-star in KILLOGY is “American actor, musician, author and entrepreneur” Frank Vincent.  Vincent was last seen and may be best known for his role as Phil Leotardo in HBO’s The Sopranos, but he was also in Goodfellas (he was the “Go get your shinebox” guy).

Basically, a cartoon character with Vincent’s likeness named Sally Sno-Cones is trapped in a prison cell with cartoon characters resembling Marky Ramone as well as actress Brea Grant (NBC’s Heroes, Dexter).

Does an existential one-act play ensue? Nope: a zombie comic.

Sample dialogue (and I should note here that I’ve sought to preserve the bold-facing and punctuation featured in the original comic):

Frank Vincent
Let me tell you somethin’, fucknuts. You made my list with that bullshit you pulled back there.
When we get outta here… you and me, we’re gonna sit down, capice?

Brea Grant
Jesus. C’mon, already. Tell us what happened.

Frank Vincent
All right, all right… Aspetta. I’m gettin’ to it. A guy in my line of work don’t get very far havin’ loose lips, if ya know what I mean. So, what I’m ’bout to tell yous two… well, I never told nobody, ya understand? So, if we ever find a way to get the fuck outta here alive… well, this stays between us. YA GOT ME?!

(beat)

Now, let’s see… Jeez, where the fuck do I even start? Okay. Well, my wife’s Eldorado was runnin’ on fumes by the time I rolled back into Brooklyn that mornin’. I’d been drivin’ ’round all friggin’ night– way out to the Jersey Dumps and back again, diggin’ up whatever bones were left from some dead wiseguys I’d whacked like a hundred years ago. See, once I caught wind that The Boss of the family flipped for the feds, I knew it was only a matter of time till they came knockin’ on my door. I mean, this rat fuck was yappin’ all over town, blamin’ me for every goddamned thing. Like he never ordered the friggin’ hits in the first place?! I was furious.

But then a complication arises: a Turban-wearing gas station owner refuses to sell gasoline to Mr. Sno-Cones.  “YOU NO PAY — YOU NO GET NO GAS!  [...] NO GAS FOR YOU!!“, the brown-skinned “Gas N’ Sip” employee cries, apparently upset that Mr. Vincent’s character had “stiffed” him on a previous visit.

Well, as you might imagine, Frank Vincent’s character Sally Sno-Cones is irritated by this refusal to fuel his wife’s Eldorado, so he draws a firearm and says…

Frank Vincent

Yo, Habib… Get off your fuckin’ magic carpet ova there and fill up my goddamn tank. And make it super while yer at it, you Aladdin lookin’ muddafucka! Start pumpin’ asshole.

Sally Sno-Cones is later confronted by flying severed zombie heads.  The heads serenade him with a rousing rendition of “Just a Gigolo.” However, Sally Sno-Cones shoots the flying zombie heads– “What’s da matter… Don’t know any goddamn Sinatra?!– and shortly after doing so, this first issue of KILLOGY concludes.

IDW is the 3rd largest publisher of comic books in North America.

5 Responses to “ KILLOGY #1 — Clipping Jamooks ”

  1. I’m surprised Sinatra never sang “Just a Gigolo.” He might be the only person in the world who hasn’t.

  2. I like your reviews, but why do you not use the Savage Critic rating scale? It’s in the header! The readers expect it!

  3. What Dr.timebomb said.

  4. I’m okay with Abhay letting me using me imagination.

  5. [...] Ninja Turtles comic,  a True Blood comic, a Judge Dredd comic,  two My Little Pony comics and whatever an Alan Robert Killogy is, [...]

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