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Slowly, I turned….

Brian Hibbs

I’m utterly dead after today’s day of work — not only did I have to get through the new books, but the photocopy of the new PREVIEWS (the “blackline”) appeared today, so I had to power through that, deciding on what to list and what not on our next sub form so I could get it to Graeme so G knows WHAT to discuss in the new ONOMATOPOEIA.

Speaking of Graeme, since I know he’s not likely to link-blog this one, but check out This thread on Millar World, where Millar evidentially decides Graeme is an internet stalker of some kind. I love this bit: “I think he’s Scottish, though I’ve never actually met him, but the people who have say he’s actually OK… until my name is mentioned. The very mention of my name has him, in their words, swivel-eyed with rage.”

Yeah, man, I’ll back that up — SWIVEL-EYED WITH RAGE! Just mention Mark Millar in Graeme’s presence and he turns beet-red. Thick black smoke starts pouring out of his ears and nose. His rage and anger is so great that he starts to make this peculiar humming/whistling noise, and if you don’t interrupt him, the sound build until it actually makes him lift off the ground, and float around the room with rage. One eye twitches left, and the other one? Man, it just starts to spin in circles. First clockwise, then counter-clockwise, then it does this sort of backwards Zorro Z kind of thing, faster and faster until you think YOUR eyes are going to start doing it too if you keep looking at him. Milk will start to curdle around ol’ McMillan if you say the “M-Word”. Why, just saying “Mark” causes this anger-ray to radiate from the pits of G’s soul, such that colors seem a little less bright, sounds a little more discordant. Banshees and Nessie alike flee in terror when Graeme is in his “Millar Rage”.

How mad does he get? You really want to know? Man, Graeme gets SO mad that his hair actually starts to grow back in, JUST SO he can rip it out at the roots again, screaming “MILLAR THAT BASTARD, HE CAUSED ME TO LOSE MY HAIR!”

He’s Lex Luthor to Mark Millar’s Superboy. Yes.

I can’t count the number of times I’m have to physically hold Graeme back (and it took me, Lester and Brill to wrestle him to the ground this one time!) when some one mentions his name. I can even recall this time we had to restrain him when we were discussing 300, and he wigged out: “No, Frank! We’re talking about Frank Miller, man! PUT THE GUN DOWN!!!”

I’m even taking a chance with this post — sometimes, just seeing The Infernal Name in print, I’ve been told he’ll just put his hand through the monitor. He’s gone through 20 this year alone…. and it’s only March!

I live in daily fear. I really do. And thank god you’ve all been warned now — DON’T SAY THAT NAME IN FRONT OF GRAEME MCMILLAN.


PS: Seriously, it sounds like Millar and G have been in email contact, and have worked things out. Good. I think its pretty crazy insane that MM made that rant, and exhorted his readers to dig up every bad thing G ever said, in the first place.

Here’s the thing though, and I’m just speaking for myself, if you don’t want people to call you out on crazy batshit insane things you say on the internet, then, dunno, maybe you shouldn’t say them. But when you say them EXPRESSLY TO CREATE CONTROVERSY, then maybe you shouldn’t be too surprised when, uh, they create controversy. Or, if you prefer “controversy”.

PPS: This is going to be a weird week because we don’t have a Massive Book That Everyone Is Hounding Us For. Two weeks ago: CAPTAIN AMERICA #25. Last week: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #1. This week…

Well, let’s MAKE one, OK? Tomorrow morning, I want you to walk into your Friendly Local Comic Shop, and ask them for a copy of THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD #2. I read my copy tonight on the bus ride home, and, I think I might have even liked #2 better than #1. There’s a wonderful denseness to the narrative, lots and lots of things happen, and it’s just lovely to look at. This is nothing less than a love letter to the DCU, and, it should probably be called MARK WAID’S DC UNIVERSE ADVENTURES. Maybe add an “ALL STAR” before that, even. This is quality superhero comics, with heart and soul, and exactly the right amount of FUN. There’s not a single drop of blood in this comic, and yet there’s plenty of punching and ‘splodyKicks and action. This is everything that every book in the DCU should read like. And its EXCELLENT.

(I know I’ve oversold it now, but really, it’s a barrel of fun)

OK, going away from computer now.


PPPS: Slowly, I turned….


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