Posted by: Abhay Khosla on March 5, 2017
By the end, the air really goes out of this balloon. Look at the colors on this page– this is a scene taking place outdoors. The beautiful solid gray outdoors.
I kinda get why they didn’t repeat the “curvy line with a gradient fill underneath” move from panels 1 and 3 in panel 2. Maybe it’d look off if they all had the same color background (?). But why pick that bland gray? If you’re not going to have any effort on the backgrounds, why not go hot pink or a bright yellow or … a color that’s just purely an emotional color, or that pops more? Would that not have worked? Or is that solid gray an emotional gray for you….?
You know: not every panel needs to have a background. But I really have to think they might want to have turned into the skid a little more than they did here…
The story fades away with a fart, too. After the Big Status Quo change, a character that was on Carol Danvers’s side all along told her that she was right all along … okay... and then, Carol Danvers says “thanks– here are some ads for upcoming Marvel comics“; then goes and tells Obama that she wants to talk to him about the future, for some reason.
We live in the future — Obama ain’t around– American life is A+. So whatever they talked about — I guess it wasn’t anything all that helpful…
I should probably try some kind of plot synopsis in case you haven’t read this thing:
The inhumans find Scott Stapp, a magical douchebag who can kinda tell the future except shitty. Iron Man keeps going “hey, his future-telling is shitty” but Carol Danvers says no it isn’t– even though she’s never proven right anywhere within this series, we’re meant to believe she is as equally good as Tony Stark, whose opinions are based on science and experience with alternate futures. Okay. A bunch of plotlines start but go exactly nowhere– e.g., She Hulk is angry about something and yells the word “And?” a lot but And Nothing, end of storyline. The superheros fight because Carol Danvers is depriving a woman of her civil rights (another abandoned storyline). During the fight, the superheros see a vision of the future where Black Spiderman has killed Captain America. Black Spiderman and Captain America go to the place where they’ll murder each other, but instead of murdering each other, Carol Danvers beats Tony Stark into a coma. Hawkeye comes to her and tells her that very important things are about to happen, in other comics, sold separately, at some future date, presumably. Obama tells her he’s proud of her. She says thanks. The end.
So. I guess that’s a story you could tell…?
I mean, is it worse than other crossovers? Not really. But maybe people are harder to satisfy now. I mean, if you don’t like the big Marvel crossover, you can go get your superhero fix from EVERY OTHER PART OF OUR CULTURE now. So. What Marvel sells is worth less and costs more.
I wonder what that feels like.
I always get this “We did it– we won” vibe from comics, but… what does anyone need a Marvel comic book for anymore??? I don’t watch Supergirl but I read the young people on that tumblr, Harold, which means I basically end up watching the sexy parts of Supergirl in gif format every week, and… Seems like that means something to people that the comics aren’t built to provide. But maybe it’s all translating to fans and new audiences and all that stuff in some way I’m too narrow-minded to appreciate. I don’t know. It’s none of my business, I guess, at the end of the day.
If I walked into Civil War 2 with that as one of my questions– “What does anyone need a Marvel comic book for anymore?”– well, I know that question I don’t have an answer for after this experience. But that’s a tough one…
Too tough for me!
Cue My Adolescent Sniggering Theme Music.
…I mean, is there a better choice?
There probably isn’t.
There’s only so many songs.
Best part of Civil War 2: when the superheros stop and realize that maybe they can have a superhero fuck-fest on the steps of the Capitol. Maybe they can have a superhero fuck-fest all day, every day. What’s the downside of the superhero fuck-fest? The dry-cleaning bill…?
Civil War 3: Superhero Fuck-Fest. Coming to a BBS near you in 2018.
Annnnnd that was the Adolescent Sniggering part of our evening.
I found it kind of interesting that the Obama era political comic ended with a “we have to worry because of the guy after you” speech. Thanks, Glenn Greenwald, wherever you are, I guess.
We had to worry about all of them, though. The idea that there are these Responsible People in the world who are Very Serious and deserve our deference… Well, that just seems like its own fantasy, one that lets people keep sleeping through some Same Old Shit, and tell themselves that crap was okay because Their Guy was doing it. But eh– it’s at least some kind of tolerable message there, at the end, at least.
Though the comic then ends with a triumphant hug to the Deep State and a celebration of public apathy towards war crimes, et cetera.
So. I mean, I have three minutes so the contradictions of modern liberalism are probably beyond the scope of discussion here, but there is a sort of weird fog of dysfunction over the ending. At least for me, just since when I look back over recent history, the “what did people believe” of it all gets a little perplexing.
Not a terribly fun comic. Poor storytelling. Some occasional cute dialogue bits, but just as many that were just… very strange. (At one point, Tony Stark yells that young people don’t know that hair salons used to be called barbershops, which… how old is Bendis?? He wasn’t that old the last I checked. Did he drink from the wrong Grail cup? What’s going on over there???).
And it’s 6. So, that was me trying to do this Sunday Barbecue thing. I don’t know how it all turned out– I’ll do an edit to fix the images now, but. Thanks for tuning in if you did. Hope you have a good rest of the weekend.