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“Death Among The Hors D’oeuvres.” COMICS! Sometimes It’s Tough, Tough Toys For Tough, Tough Boys!

John Kane

What would Thunderbirds be like in the world of Judge Dredd? My dog has no nose; why isn’t Robbie Morrison funny? What if the messiah was susceptible to weed killer?  What would be the absolute best name for a character in a very cold place? Can a gun be too big? And if war is so terrible why is it so good for John Wagner? All questions I’ll probably forget to answer in the latest jolly riverdance through the JUDGE DREDD MEGA COLLECTION. JUDGE DREDD: THE HEAVY MOB by P J Holden Anyway, this…

“I Guess You Could Call It An EYEFUL SORE!” COMICS! Sometimes That Joke Isn’t Punny Anymore!

John Kane

Bit of a hybrid this time out. It’s a little bit European and a little bit American. Something for everyone! Also, Batman! Everyone loves Batman! Unfortunately it’s kind of terrible. But, wait! I’m getting ahead of myself… BATMAN: EUROPA by Parel, Camuncoli, Casali, Azzarello and Brosseau Anyway, this…

“…Do Not Adjust Your Brains!” COMICS! Sometimes “M-O-O-N” Spells “Moon”, Despite What Tom Cullen Thinks.

John Kane

Judge Dredd on the moon. That’s it. JUDGE DREDD: DARKSIDE by Marshall Anyway, this…

“NOBODY Calls Me CHICKEN HEAD!” COMICS! Sometimes I Hope You Brought A Clean Pair Of Pants.

John Kane

Are you ready to quiver in horripilation at the future terrors accosting Mega-City One’s premiere lawman? No, well come back when you are. JUDGE DREDD: THE HAUNTING OF SECTOR HOUSE 9 by Brett Ewins Anyway, this…

“My Diabetes Prevents Me.” COMICS! Sometimes It’s A Theatre of Blood!

John Kane

Hey kids! Who’s up for a heroically opaque fable about a vengeful castrato, illustrated in a darkly twisted melange of Gustav Klimt and José Muñoz! Okay, howabout if I describe it as CH Greenblatt’s Chowder via E.T.A. Hoffman? Ooooh, your little ears perked right up! Yes! It’s Euro-comic time! Everybody loves The Eurocomics! FOLIGATTO by Nicolas de Crécy and Alexios Tjoyas Anyway, this…

“Not Unless He Had Three Legs.” COMICS! Sometimes It’s Nice To Have A Change Of Scenery!

John Kane

In which Judge Dredd is a right gadabout and doesn’t even have the decency to send a postcard. !!BONUS MAP OF THE MEGA-TERRITORIES!! JUDGE DREDD: GULAG by Charlie Adlard Anyway, this…

“EASY THE FERG!” COMICS! Sometimes It’s Not The Fall That Kills You!

John Kane

It’s Valentine’s Day! This Valentine’s Day Judge Dredd’s first and only love, The Law, sends a Valentine…straight…to…his…HEART! JUDGE DREDD: THE DAY THE LAW DIED by Bolland, Wagner & Frame Anyway, this…

“We Must Allow None of These DIBBUKS To Escape!” COMICS! Sometimes God Loves a Trier.

John Kane

A funny thing happened on the way to The Reichstag…. 7 PSYCHOPATHS by Phillips, Vehlmann, Heching, Hubert & Peteri Anyway, this…

“I Have No Interest In Pleasure.” COMICS! Sometimes They Make Jurassic Park Look Like Flamingo Land!

John Kane

So while I was musing, as is my wont, upon THE LAST AMERICAN it occurred to me that it could also be read as a riposte to another strip involving a trek across a post-nuke landscape. One Wagner was also involved in, but which was driven mainly by Pat Mills. The difference between the two approaches is telling. But I don’t tell you about that, instead I just ramble aimlessly in my irritatingly hyperbolic style. It’s “An Impossible Journey Through a Radioactive Hell…” It’s “The Cursed Earth”! JUDGE DREDD: THE CURSED EARTH by McMahon & Mills Anyway, this…

 “It seemed CENTURIES had passed.” COMICS! Sometimes It’s Not As Easy As It Looks.

John Kane

No, I don’t know why I bother either. Masochism, I guess. DKIII:TMR by Kubert, Janson, Azzarello, Anderson, Robins & Miller Anyway, this…

“This Old FAMILIAR!” COMICS! Sometimes It’s Not Like Going Down The Pond Chasin’ Bluegills And Tommycods.

John Kane

Time for one last blast of comics magic before I shut down for the holidays. Read it or don’t. I wish you all the very merriest of holidays. And I send out a special thanks to Brian “ I have Top Men on it.” Hibbs for continuing to host my nonsense for yet another year. It is appreciated. Thanks also to Abhay for classing the joint up in his own uniquely spectacular way. And thanks most of all to you for, gee, just being you.  Have a very merry one, everyone.  And now Ho-Ho-Ho-HOOKJAW! HOOKJAW! By Boyle, Spurrier, Brusco, Steen Anyway, this…

“We Are All Monsters.” COMICS! Sometimes They’ve Got Some Ruddy Nerve, Talking My Country Down Like That!

John Kane

Ah, days of Empire! Gunboat diplomacy! Wiffle waffle! The World under Victoria’s steely heel! Pip-pip! God’s Will, doncha know! Opium wars! Bringing them civilisation, isn’t it now? Tip top stuff, what! Like little children without us! Doing them a favour! “All the people like us are We/and everyone else is They.” Kipling? Not ‘arf, darling! Halcyon days, brings a tear to the old eye and all that. More sherry? Ah, with the Glory Days of Empire re-cresting the horizon as BREXIT delivers back unto us our sovereignty(!?!) what could be more timely than a look at this book, this EMPIRE OF BLOOD. Anyone for tiffin? Clip round the ear for the kids; never did me any harm! Never, never, never…  Read More…

“This World is Jam-Packed With Dark Nature Spirits!” COMICS! Sometimes I Have No Option But To Take Refuge In Fictional Horrors.

John Kane

こんにちは! Konnichiwa, culture vultures! This time out we spread our black, black wings and set our beady, dead eyes on the delightful island nation of Japan! Yes, Japan! Home of almost 200 volcanoes, a literacy rate of near 100%, the British car industry(*) and…MANGA! Japan! A tectonically unstable but most artistic archipelago indeed! Japan! Contra all those Jô Shishido (宍戸 錠) Yakuza movies Japan is one of the safest and least violent countries in the world, with as few as two gun-related homicides a year (Yes, America: two). Sometimes, though, such a haven of civility is fertile ground for horror. (SOCIOLOGICAL SPOILER: it’s probably the repression.) Hai! It’s Junji Ito (伊藤 潤二)! It’s Horror (帽子掛け)! It’s MANGA!!! It’s COMICS!!! (*)…  Read More…

“What’s The Knife Got To Do With Anything?” MOVIES! Sometimes My Questionable Taste In Movies Spans Several Decades!

John Kane

I’ve not had time to write up any comics, but I have written up some movies. I didn’t do a proper intro either. See? All complaints to the management, pal. Combs & Crampton in FROM BEYOND Anyway, this…

“Back Up, Old Man!” COMICS! Sometimes The Business of North American Genre Comics is Wolves.

John Kane

This time out it’s a He-Wolf and a She-Wolf! Don’t worry, there’s nothing remotely connected to the real world in this one. PHEW! SHE WOLF by Rich Tommaso Anyway, this…

“I’m Not Taking a Dump!” COMICS! Sometimes The Female of the Species is Not Only Deadlier Than The Male But Has an Extendable Pseudoprick. Which is Nice.

John Kane

…wolf! It was “hungry like the..wolf! Did you get it? Oh, forget it; I’ll not bother in future. Here’s a couple of comics I liked. Lady werewolves and that, innit. GRRR! SHE WOLF by Rich Tommaso Anyway, this…

“Even BABIES Got Scars.” COMICS! Sometimes I Recall My Mother Saying That Resorting to Profanity Indicated a Failure of Imagination Rather Than Being a Reliable Indicator of Toughness. Then She Bopped Me One in the Eye To Drive Her Point Home. One Tough Broad.

John Kane

There was a sale on Image Comics on The Comixiology to celebrate comics creators saying awful things at some convention or other. Me, I hate Rosicrucians because someone once told someone who told me that they make their kids pee standing on their hands so it goes in their mouths. I could be wrong, but why check? Oh, also I bought some stuff. For starters I got four issues of THE GODDAMNED for £0.69 each. Then I wrote this. True story, bro. “In the beginning was The Word. And The Word was poo-poo-botty-stinker.” The Book of Aaron Ch1, v.1 THE GODDAMNED by Guera, Aaron, Brusco & Fletcher Anyway, this…

“…There Will Never Be a TRIumphteenth Time.” COMICS! Sometimes Comics Might Not Be For Kids Anymore But The People Who Make ‘Em Could Sure Do With Acting A Bit More Like Adults, Maybe?.

John Kane

I sure hope everyone loves my unwieldy and turgid exercises in overkill, because here’s another one coming up right about now. But, hey, Batman’s in it. I know I said comics (plural) last time but this got out of hand so I’ve split the other bit for later, plus I couldn’t quite get that part to work. It’ll turn up though; nothing gets wasted. And now it’s over to…Batman! DARK KNIGHT: THE LAST CRUSADE by Romita Jnr, Steigerwald, Azzarello, Miller and Robins Anyway, this…

“My WHOLE BODY experiences Disasters And It’s—I’m WORRIED About It Getting To Me.” COMICS! Sometimes I Should Just Shake My Head And Leave The Room.

John Kane

So…The biggest names in comics! The biggest comics in comics! Several thousand words which can be summed up as, “Seriously? You jest, right? THIS?” Break out the bunting because the world’s sourest man is back! Nothing is good enough for him! He’s a big old stinker and no mistake! Comics by beloved creators spat at by a man with not a fraction of their talent! Oh, it’s good to be back. (We are back, right?) The following is dedicated to OKOliver who left OKComics without me having the chance to say goodbye. Good luck in your new life as a space gigolo! M-Wah! M-Wah! CASANOVA: NO JACKET REQUIRED #1 by Moon, Fraction, Harbin & Peter Anyway, this…

“…Even LIMP, That Bat’s Too Much For ME.” COMICS! Sometimes It’s The Cat Which is The Unnameable.

John Kane

This time out: a lady werewolf, the slightly lighter side of Lovecraft and a drunk cuckold finds the vengeance trail’s gone cold. Midnight of the Soul by Chaykin, Arbutov & Bruzenak What’s not to love about that, am I right or am I right? Anyway, this…

“I Miss Having Tits.” COMICS! Sometimes I Have An Emotion.

John Kane

It’s very hot today. Oh, and I see the world continues to misbehave. Sigh. Only two comics this time out. They’re pretty good though. Well I thought so, at least. The Experts by Sophie Franz Anyway, this…

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