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Brian Hibbs

To quote George Constanza and all that.

It’s really hot in San Francisco this week, kind of unseasonably so. Sure, I understand that it isn’t as gross and hot as it is on the EAST coast, but still. Public transportation is even more grueling in High Heat.

With gas prices rising rapidly, more and more people are turning to (or at least considering) public transportation.

I, myself, have always been a bus guy. I don’t know how to drive, and while our family has a car (preschooler, kinda have to), I still buy a monthly bus pass every month, and try to use the bus as much as humanly possible.

I don’t know if it is just that no one ever taught people (I mean, when I was in elementary school in Brooklyn, they taught us things like “when you’re in the library, and you don’t know where to reshelve the book, just leave it on the table for the librarian to do — that’s MUCH better than mis-filing it!” Today, I think all they’re really concerned about is making sure kids can pass standardized tests…), or if people are just stupid and rude, or what exactly the problem is, but here are some tips if you find yourself on public transportation:

(I apologize that this has nothing to do with comics)

1) If you HAVE to stand RIGHT IN the DOORWAY, at least be aware of your surroundings, and move out of the way as someone approaches the door to exit the vehicle. I really don’t understand why people CHOOSE to stand in the door, but jesus, people, please let your fellow passengers use it for its intended purpose.

As a corollary to that, you CAN NOT get upset if you get elbowed, or smacked, or pushed, or yelled at because you’re standing in the doorway and aren’t letting people go past. The doorway is not an aisle!

2) If you wear a backpack REMOVE IT FROM YOUR BACK ON A CROWDED BUS. Wear it over one shoulder, or, even better, hold it by the loop in your hand. Your full backpack on your back takes up the space of a second person, nimrod, and every time you turn your body, you’re smacking people all around you, even though you don’t know it.

3) Let people in pain, or children, or the elderly have your seat. Don’t be an ass.

4) Unless it is an EMERGENCY, please please please don’t talk on the phone. NO ONE wants to hear your half of your conversation, and EVERY SINGLE OTHER person on the bus thinks you’re an inconsiderate asshole.

5) If you don’t have a bus pass or transfer or equivalent thing that allows you to just stroll onto the bus, it’s really inconsiderate to shove other people out of the way to board, then hold up the entire line by fumbling with your fare at the fare box.

There’s a lot more, but it all boils down to: don’t be an ass; pay attention to your fellow people; be considerate and polite.

Thanks, and have a great day!


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